The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I will be naked everywhere
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
