names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
