Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
