Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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