tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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