you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
