doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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