can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize