I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Congratulations! We have a period
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