I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
