i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
