that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize