Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
