you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
