She is in my trunk
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
