Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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