this will be a night to untag.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
