Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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