Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
