She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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