Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
