Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
