is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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