Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
