I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
