it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
