Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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