Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize