Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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