he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
