i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
