ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
