I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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