I just pynch a tree in the face
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
