i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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