you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
