Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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