i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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