we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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