is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
