My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Randomize
