hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
