and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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