Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Green mimosas i think yes
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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