If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
