look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
