I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
