Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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