In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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