shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
