and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
