dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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