How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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