Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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