her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
A bitchslap is in order.
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