so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
