watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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