Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
