This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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