At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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