Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
