We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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