The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
