i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
