hotel room ftw
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
