What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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