I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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