Duck Duck Cougar?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
my poor anus
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
